If you’ve never had an orgasm, or if they’re hard to… come by, do yourself a kindness and buy a vibrator, says gynecologist Lauren Streicher*, the author of the new female sexual health and wellness guide, Love Sex Again (Harpercollins, $33.50).
Far from being your night stand’s dirty secret, Streicher maintains vibrators are a necessity for women who struggle to achieve orgasm. And don’t feel bad if you’re one of them, because they are legion: the inability to orgasm is the second most popular complaint among women. (Low libido is number one.)
That may be because we’re looking to our partners to bring us to our sexual denouement, rather than getting off from self-stimulation or using a toy. But unlike a partner—or even going rogue—the vibrator is perfectly equipped to not only deliver the goods but to do so consistently. The stimulation needed to hit those high notes is almost universally clitoral, says Streicher; only five per cent of women are able to achieve orgasm from vaginal sex alone.
That’s where the vibrator comes in handy. “Even the guy who knows what he’s doing, who has great tongue and fast fingers—all that kind of stuff—there’s a level of intensity that you get with a vibrator.”
Also, he’ll never be able to do the one thing a vibrator can do so well. “We know that the nerve endings in the clitoris are very sensitive to vibration, basically,” she says. “And no man can vibrate.”
*Despite her fondness for vibes, Streicher doesn’t have any affiliations with sex toy manufacturers or retailers