We’re deep into cuffing season and Valentine’s Day is fast approaching so needless to say, people have love—or lack thereof—on the brain. That certainly seemed to be the case for SNL star and all-around queen Leslie Jones earlier this week.
Jones regularly posts pics of herself getting jacked at the gym (if you’re looking for some #fitspo, look no further), but on Jan. 30, her pic told a different story. “OK back to cardio. But confession I feel like I’m doing it for nothing,” she wrote. Jones explained that though she knows that working out helps her stay healthy and look good, sometimes that doesn’t feel like enough. “I really feel like “what’s it all for” if the people you want to notice don’t. I just feel like I might die alone,” she wrote.
Her message prompted an outpouring of comments and heart emojis, with some posting the classic “love will find you” or “You’re beautiful, who wouldn’t want you?” responses. But here’s the thing: Jones’s fears are completely legitimate. She is beautiful. She is hilarious. At 50, she is somehow completely defying the aging process that is slowly turning me into a tanned garden gnome. But none of those things guarantee that she’ll find a guy.
What Jones posted is a refreshingly real and raw look into how it feels to be single, especially as we age. I love my job, consider myself fairly successful and decent looking and have built a very full life that includes going out, meeting new people and the occasional date set up through a myriad of apps. But like Jones, I can’t help but wonder if I will never *actually* find a guy who looks at me the way the world looks at Beyoncé. They say there is someone for everyone, but what if that’s total BS? What if there’s just a few people that don’t get to find that person—and Jones and I fall into that category?
I can feel some of you reading those words and wanting to respond with “No! You have to stay hopeful! There’s someone for everyone! It’ll happen when you least expect it!” But TBH, that’s not a helpful response because when you’re single, those statements can feel like a lie. Instead, it’s truly OK to just say: “I hope that doesn’t happen because you’re great” or “That really sucks.”
Commenters on Jones’s post commended the star for her #realtalk.
“Les, I feel you,” wrote commenter lolo_wink. “You do it for you. No shame in flying solo. Society is real good at pressuring us. Be in this moment.”
“This made me feel real sad because I totally understand what you feel,” wrote Instagram user gyaliketish. “But you got to remember the best thing you can do is love yourself.”
“You are my inspiration @lesdogggg I’m a 36 ur old obese dude who has two amazing little girls, but I still thought I was done,” wrote commenter tagibson. “Watching you grow and make me laugh till I hurt has inspired me that I’m not done. Those who don’t “see you” are incapable of it, so please don’t wish for something they can’t give. You’re a comedian and difference maker now. Love you.”
So while Jones may fear that she is alone, clearly her post showed that she is not alone in how she feels.